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I spend a tremendous amount of time asking Japanese people, in Japanese, what they think about Japan, love, sex, foreigners, language, and everything else under the sun.
This seems to elicit very different results than speaking in English.
First of all, understand that very few Japanese women are interested in dating men of other races. Of course, if you hang around in gaijin bars, then yeah, you’ll meet the one-percent of “Japanese chicks who study English.” And they’ll come equipped with tons of stereotypical ideas about white, black, and miscellaneous brown people. Don’t forget to mention your manga collection and the fact you’re a yellow belt in karate. So when you initially meet someone new, you’re already pre-defined as “a foreigner,” someone whose skin color, clothing, habits, and beliefs places them instantly outside of the social order. Or are you just going to peace out back to Canada and live with your mom after a couple of years? Case in point, I ran in my buddy Tim-Bob the other day, having beers in a gaijin bar.
Overcoming the racial stereotypes and just being treated as a normal person is a big barrier. Chicks dig a guy with the ability to smuggle ET to safety. I call him Tim-Bob, because the first time we met, I thought his name was Tim, and the second time I thought his name was Robert. Anyway, Tim-Bob was halfway into his fourth drink and onto a familiar lamentation about his Japanese wife. Your wife can’t make more, since she’s a Japanese woman, but Oh, you sure can. Identical in every way – not exactly fountains of energy and interesting conversation, if you know what I mean.
I suggested she try a different website or mode of meeting potential partners, but it hasn't made a difference.
I believe in second chances up to a point, but now I'm genuinely worried for her safety.
Then, consider what most women want in a partner: someone financially secure, respected in society, and with whom they can build a family. Driving a sweet Mercedes through the middle of Shibuya. Then after we became friends he finally told me, “” Turns out I’d been calling him by the wrong names for about a year. “” So the deal is, if your wife has a job, she’s likely to be stuck in a low-paying position where she works every day until 11 p.m. Plus, now suddenly she’s pregnant again, and you need a car, and junior’s not going to survive on them turnips alone. And when it comes to solving relationship problems, they’re fully equipped with a skill-set that includes such gems as sulking, pouting, and passive aggression.
Well obviously that sucks, so it makes more sense for her to stay at home and take care of the house and kids. Once her family and friends hear about you lazing around the house on the weekends, or out riding your skateboard or whatever, they’ll pressure you to get a second job, or at least work in the garden. Takeda-san raises all the vegetables for his family. Hope you like hoeing turnips, cause that’s all the hoeing you’re gonna be doing for a long, long time. So after you finish tilling the earth, you better head off to teach a weekends-worth of corporate classes. They’re merely flip-sides of the same coin, only one wears a suit while the other puts on fake eyelashes and a push-up bra.
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